Moriash Moreau: My Second Life: If...

Friday, February 22, 2008

If...

If you have ever placed a 10 meter wide spinning FOR SALE sign above a parcel...
If your home is surrounded by No Entry bars (because your 512 parcel with the freebie prefab might contain state secrets)...
If you use a home security system left running 24/7 (bonus points if it's at ground level)...
If your home security system is set to teleport home...
If your land is permanently flagged as No Scripts without a damned good reason (hint: there isn't one)...
If your land is flagged No Fly...
If you've ever created, or knowingly used, an SL weapon that fires a payload not set Temp-on-Rez...
If you rely on scripts to delete the aforementioned non-ToR payloads (thus leading to hundreds of inert bullets littering No-Script parcels, although I'm inclined to consider that just punishment for the No-Script flag)...
If you have your auto-return set to zero, and then never visit your land to clean up the mess (bonus points for no script, no return, because 172 physical, particle-spewing, non-ToR watermelons really improve the sim performance and FPS)...
If you've ever used an Orbiter...
If you can't figure out how to turn off your AO (using an AO to begin with puts you on thin ice, far as I'm concerned)...
If you've ever sold someone else's freebies...
If your shop is still equipped with CopyBot protection spammers (which stopped working about five minutes after the CopyBot code went public)...
If you still think Cage Guns are cool...
If you have an LOL gesture that sends your avatar into a two minute long giggling fit, complete with animations and sound effects...
If you're wandering around in public with prim erogenous zones attached (we can see them every time we hit the ALT key, you know)...
If you've ever referred to anything in SL as "rape" or "terrorism..."
If you're a Gorean slave, and tell me to contact your master if I have a problem with you...
If you're a Gorean master, and get incensed if I speak with your slaves...
If you're a Gorean, period...
If you wear enough bling to make Liberace question your taste...
If you've ever sent an IM to a stranger saying nothing but "hi..."
If your shop's welcome script greets me with an unsolicited notecard, a landmark, or more than one line of IM'd text...
If you've ever sold a 4x4 plot for 20 times the market rate...
If you attempt to Friend me after a two line conversation...
If you invite me to join your group without ever having met me...

...Then you, sir or madam, are an idiot and I have no interest in speaking with you. Move along.

Just something I had sitting in my drafts folder, and was too timid to post until now. I'll likely be adding to this as the spirit moves me. Turning off comments here. If you don't agree, well, you're wrong. So sayeth Mori.
Posted by Moriash Moreau at 12:28 PM

Return to Main Page